All the Pretty Things - Valentine's Edition

I love holidays.  I love any reason to celebrate the people I care for, and holidays are always a wonderful reminder to stop and take a moment to think about the people in our lives that bring us happiness. I love seeing the stores all decorated, filled with cute, festive little decorative items and trinkets; I could window shop for hours, just dreaming up what I could make or give or plan with all the pretty things.

Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays for two reasons:

1. I love love. I'm a very affectionate and deeply emotional person, and very little pleases me more than celebrating those I care for.

2. I love the color pink, and seeing it all over, mixed with in with some red, is just super dreamy to me.

So, since I love the holiday of love so much, I decided it would be a fun idea to throw a small Galentine's themed gathering for a few friends. This meant a trip to Hobby Lobby was required to see what festive, beautiful things I could find for decor.

Valentine's Day shopping at Hobby Lobby!

I love the decorative tiered trays, so as you can see, I found a lot of cute things to style mine with. It's a simple thing, but it's moments like these that I lose myself in, for just a bit, and experience the innocent, giddy happiness that used to come so easily and naturally to me before I lost my mom and sister. Sometimes, it's those little, seemingly insignificant moments that hold so much raw emotion for me. They make me feel alive, even if only briefly, and I look forward to and cherish them in all their bittersweetness.

So, invites were sent, my friends attended excitedly. There was pasta and focaccia, chicken salad croissants and queso with chips, and more desserts than we could eat. I made them each a little gift basket, accompanied by a blanket for our movie that evening. It was a nice feeling, a mostly happy one, and I tried to hold on to it. Afterwards, as I often do, I felt that same quiet sensation of emptiness, of something missing. I thought of my sister, and how much I wished I could have shown her all the little things I made, how much I wished I could have included her and showered her with my affection, how much I wished I could share it all with her....how much I miss sharing it all with her. And it hit me all over again that I can't believe I am living this life without her. We are almost at the 2 year mark, and it's still so surreal.

Living with such intense grief is the strangest feeling. It's like balancing on a beam - on one side happiness, on the other side complete and utter despair and desperation to be reunited with her, but I'm just in the middle of it all, constantly walking this super fine line. But...I try to remember to live, despite all the pain and the daily challenges it brings. I try to find the good in the simple and lighthearted things. Sometimes that's candy coated hearts, cheesy Valentine's Day decor, and all the pretty little things in pink.